I have been with my girlfriend for just over 2.5 years now. We met in college, have tons in common (we were both college athletes) and now we are both done and working. I currently work with NASA, while she is in the police academy and will be working for the Sheriff's office at the start of next year.

We had been living together for the past year, but just "officially" moved in together. Everything seemed fine for the first 2 months, then about 6 weeks ago somethings changed. In one week I saw her for a total of 3 hours. She would be gone before I left for work, and after coming home going to the gym (at a different time than me), and come home and go to sleep. I hardly got to talk to her.

After a week of this, I sat her down to talk. Trying to explain that all I really wanted to know was how her day was, etc. Im not even going to mention that she had had zero sex drive. Well she went on to explain that she "needed space". Now at the time I had no idea what that meant. After doing some research and such I learned that I need to just worry about myself.

This is an issue with me though. I have no friends in the area we moved to, and the people I work with live all over central florida. She was my friend, but now its like I can't talk to her or show her any affection.

So I have just bit my tongue and taken it on the chin for the past 4 weeks. I can't say this has been easy at all, because it hasn't. I can't help but shake the feeling that she is just "needing space" until the lease is up (which is in July of next year) and then she is just going to leave.

I have told myself that I will remain faithful until she sits me down to have an update talk. I don't know when this is every going to happen, and it makes things really hard on me. Picturing my life without her makes me feel very empty and alone. The last thing I want to do is lose her, but I keep getting the feeling that she is treating me like crap just so I will break up with her and be the "bad guy".

She still talks to me when she gets home. Sometimes I get the cold shoulder and it hurts. I get the feeling things will be ok every now and then, other times I just feel like this is all downhill.

Anyone who has any thoughts on this situation please feel free to post. I ask because my three friends who have had their girlfriend say "they need space" all ended up with other guys. My girlfriends friends assure me this has nothing to do with other guys, and when I asked her I got the same response.

Any thoughts would be appreciated.

It honestly sounds like she just needs some space...I was in the same situation with by boyfriend even though we didn't offically move in together, I spent 6 out of 7 nights at his house. When he asked for space it made me feel rejected, and like he didn't want me anymore. I lived in a city where I had no friends or family and all i knew was him. Use this time to sit back and work on yourself some. Take some time to ponder the relationship. Get out and cultivate your social circle where you live. I know once I started to do this, it made our relationship so much better because I wasn't so dependent on him. I am the type of person that will squeeze the life out of my partner. So my main advice don't rush her, use this time to dig a little deeper into yourself, and use the 100/50 rule. If you're not 100% happy 50% of the time then it's time to jump ship. Two years of a relationship isn't worth throwing away a one month rough patch.

If this continues for a couple of months (like 6) you need to establish some clear boundaries though and have a seriosus talk.

your welcome

Not good...

I have seen this with an ex before.  Unfortunately, I think your friends are right.  This is not a good thing.  If there is no affection between you and she is shutting you out of her life, you need to break this lease and move out.  Don't drag it out.  There is something here that you are picking up on that she is not telling you.  Trust your gut. 

Furthermore, this is not the way any good girlfriend should treat a guy.  Take that into account!

I am sorry, fella.  Good luck!

sorry buddy, but saying "i just need space" is one of the oldest lines in the relationship book.  50% of the time they really mean it, the other 50% of the time it means something big has happened to them to make them want to reconsider not being with you anymore.  the next step will be her asking for a break.

if its the positive 50%, then she needs space to think things through and hopefully she'll come back to you better than ever.  all you'll need is patience.

if its the negative 50%, she may have come to the realization that she doesn't want to be with you and is looking for a way out.  or she may have met someone new (maybe at work?) and is considering starting a new relationship with that person.

your last post was a week ago, have things changed? whats the status now?