and that was over a year ago.  Not a word since then.  The ring has been taken off my finger; no wedding plans, no dress, no cake, no nothing..life goes on.  I think he just asked because I demanded (that's a strong word) it before we lived together.  I guess the fact that no wedding is planned...the fact that the couple times I mentioned it, he nodded his head and agreed with what I was saying (which again wasn't much) .  Anyway...in the end, this all means that it really wasn't a proposal.

So..now...what do I do???

Either you are fine with living with him without marriage, or you are not. At the moment, he does not plan to marry you within a few years. (Could be that he does plan to marry you later, could be that he has no such plans.) You need to think about whether he is the right person for you, and how important he and the relationship is to on on the whole. If you don't think he is perfect for you, then leave (even if he gets serious about marriage!) If you plan to stay with him, ask yourself why he isn't anxious to get married. How old is he? (Younger than 26 and you can chalk some of it up to age.) Do you not have enough money to pay for the kind of wedding you want? Is he unhappy in the relationship? Is he looking for "something better"? (Leave him! Some men will string women along for years, waiting for something better - if something better never comes, he'll marry you, but you don't want that!) Do big undertakings and changes scare him?

If you decide you want to marry him after all, and want a way to get plans going, then here is my advice:

Step #1 - First of all, take care of your relationship - and that starts with taking care of yourself. Build up your confidence and relax. After you love yourself, share your love with your partner. Compliment him and thank him for his hard work. Thank him for things you take for granted (but don't fall all over yourself thanking him - a backrub here, a kind word there, will go a long way). DO NOT mention marriage. Spend time with him and relax, but also take a lot of time for yourself - cultivate a new hobby, if you have to. Become new and interesting. Have sex more often (6+ times a week) - don't try to make it extra-kinky or somehow new, but do put in an effort as far as your appearance goes, be the one to initiate sex more often, and again, compliment him (try for something unusual - think of parts of his body you find arousing that you had never mentioned to him, and tell him why you like them). Don't fight - instead, try to make all of your disagreements playful (keep your emotions on a short leash and use humor)... never bring up "old" arguments or use personal attacks. If an argument becomes bitter, and you cannot argue with good humor, stop arguing and go back to your "normal mode" - the argument will wait for you later... it doesn't need to be hashed out at the moment.

Step #2 - Get him to confide in you about things that bother him (not relationship things at first). Be on his side. Listen to him, and keep talk about yourself to a minimum. Find out about his fears and dreams. Many couples are already at this stage, but if you cannot have a discussion about marriage with him, you are not already at this stage. If he does talk about himself, but never reciprocates and asks you to talk about yourself, evaluate whether or not you would like to be in a relationship with someone so self-absorbed. Take hints from him - if he seems to want a conversation to end, end it.

Step #3 - After 4+ months of steps 1 and 2, while you are having an intimate conversation (hopefully cuddling on a couch or something), ask him to elope with you within a few weeks. If this doesn't work, then nothing will.