I have met my male best friend way before i met my new man. I went to high school down south so one day he called me up to let me know he will be coming my way for the weekend and wanted to see me. I told my boyfriend and he said ok. He seemed like everything was cool. But when i was showing him about town he kept calling me and started to make me feel real uncomfortable like he didn't trust me or something. If you read my first blog you would know why. I told him you knew of this person from the start because he was still calling me when we first got together. Me and my guy best friend never was a couple. He's married but he tells me so married men cheat too. I just told him well if he ever wants to come back to town and wants me to show him around again then you are going to have to deal with your insecurities. I'm i wrong?
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He asked me to marry him about 3 months after we met. At that time everything was great and I was more than happy to accept. Since then, things have been slowly going downhill and we're growing apart. I'm not really sure how to approach him anymore. My children (ages 9 and 12) adore him and think he's the greatest guy on the planet. This only makes the situation tougher.
Our major issues:
Health. When we met, we bonded over our desire to get healthy, experience new things, and become active. Although he is severely obese, I believed him when he told me he was mid-way through his journey to fit and wanted to continue. It turns out that wasn't the case at all. He loves talking about getting healthy, but putting it into action seems to escape him still. I hate to let this become an issue, but if we're being honest it is a HUGE issue for me. I am looking for someone to grow old with and that's not going to be very possible with him considering he is 5'8" and pushing 400 lbs. Also, his weight limits our sex life a LOT.
Honesty. He feels the need to "BS" people all the time, including me. He will tell me whatever sounds right at that moment and I honesty believe he doesn't even realize he's doing it anymore. I try to explain to him that when he lies to other people it worries me.. and when he lies to me it destroys my trust. I just caught him last night lying to get my son in trouble. I was shocked. I don't understand how he can allow insecurity to rule him like it does, but still be willing to do so little to gain confidence. I would be confortable saying he lies to me atleast once every single day. I just don't see a need for it.
Sex. It's non-existent. It's not that I don't have a sex drive. My sex drive is through the roof, actually. He just becomes less and less attractive to me the more he lies, the less he helps me around the house, the more he lectures and yells at the kids, the more he farts and burps, and the less motivated he becomes to take charge of his life.
Family. His family drives me insane. They lie, cheat, steal, and are all around not fun people. They are not emotionally healthy for my children. His sister STOLE over $50k from his sick grandmother. How can he really expect me to trust these people?
He says all I do is complain and he feels bitched at constantly. This is probably true. I have gotten to the point where I complain a lot. I guess when a guy tells you to just tell him when something bothers you, there should be a "within reason" implemented each time. I worry that we're finding out we're just not as compatible as we thought. I would like to stay with him, but I'm not sure if I am what he's looking for and vice versa. I cut him so much slack because this is his first major relationship ever and he did jump in with a woman with 2 kids... but part of me feels like it has gotten to the point where I'm giving up so much of me to be with him.
Last night I caught him lying to try and get my son in trouble. It really upset me and I'm left debating if I even want to be in this relationship anymore.
Sigh.
i feel like im being held down by my boyfriend. we do have a child together and have been together for 7 years. i feel like i have so much time invested in this but then at times i feel as if im in this just because its been so long and im used to it. but i don't want to go through life feeling like that. i do love him but i feel that i cant accept him wholly because he docent like to do things with my family and docent help me out very much. He never does the dishes, never does the laundry, doesn't clean up after himself. i am always the one who does it all. then he feels the i have to give him almost my whole paycheck to pay for the bills when i did tell him that i will take care of all the utilities. he expects me to do everything around the house when i have a night job that i finish at 11:00p.m. and i don't get to bed till about 1:00.i honestly don't know how he really expects me to do everything when i to have a job. i appreciate him for everything that he does for us but when i ask for a little help he makes into a whole big deal and makes me feel like the bad person.
i have always felt like a single parent to my child. I was always the one who took care of my son even though my boyfriend was at home with us. he never really paid to much attention to him till recently when i started my night job. but then i still feel like i do everything because he will call me at work to ask where things are.
there are also times that i do second guess our relationship. because, of the fact that he will always question the things that i do. i don't go out with my friends when i really want to od those kinds of things and he docent want to. im 22 years old and haven't really gotten to live my life they way that he go to, so i feel that it is unfair to me. we are at a point where we are accutally building a house together. i feel so confused about this, i really don't know what to do anymore. do i stay or do i go.
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