118 Search Results for "children"
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Having more kids in the late 3 Having more kids in the late 30's!
- From: sweetnsexy
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Description:
I have one daughter who is 5 years old and last year i have just started college again to become a social worker. I have one year left to get my associates in human services but want to get my bachelor's degree first before having more children. I also want to be married first or atleast engaged. My man has been wanting more kids too but i feel like my dream has been put on hold before because i have to stay home with the kids and wait for them to get in school for me to do anything with myself. My dream has alway been to graduate college but i feel if i keep going on to college and with my biological clock ticking i will never be able to have more kids if i keep trying to pursue my dream of a bachelor's degree. I feel i can alway go back to college but i cannot always have children. What do i do? Do i put my dream on hold of finishing college to have more children or do i stick it out and wait?
- Blog post
- 4 days ago
- Views: 2
- Not yet rated
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brenny01
- Views: 25
- Since: 1 week ago
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alberto16moss
- Views: 17
- Since: 4 weeks ago
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Improving Intimacy in Marriage Improving Intimacy in Marriage
- From: ShelaDean
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Description:
About Marriage Intimacy
Intimacy is the cornerstone of marriage but it's not just about sex. True, sex is the physical intimacy that gives a relationship snap, crackle and pop excitement. However, it is emotional intimacy that sustains the relationship as it matures and the couple settles into everyday life. The benefits of a happily intimate marriage are far reaching. It's not only good for the couple but its byproducts spill over into the lives of their children, friends, family members, and even beyond to their work environment and community.
The Challenge of Maintaining Intimacy
Every couple wants to be intimate at all levels. Unfortunately, that's easier said than done. The realities of everyday life-careers, the house, the children, and the run-you-ragged rigors of day-to-day living-are demanding and can wreak havoc on intimacy. Making it even more difficult, a relationship is made up of two complex individuals who, although alike in fundamental ways, are different in a zillion little ways. And it's those differences that lead to the arguments, misunderstandings, hurt and disappointment that morph into grudges, long-term resentment, and emotional distance. The loss of emotional intimacy can make the relationship, once a source of joy and a place of refuse, a source of stress and an unhappy place to be.
Improving Intimacy - The Strategy
Maintaining an emotionally intimate relationship is easier when couples remember a few basics:
1. Foreplay is all day, 24/7, and includes everything that you do that in any way affects how your partner feels about you. Just as great foreplay is essential to Wow! sex, great emotional foreplay is essential to a Wow! relationship. Every occasion, even the diciest situation, is an opportunity for emotional foreplay if handled properly.
2. Although we can all agree that tit-for-tat is death to a relationship, we humans nevertheless keep score in the sense that we know whether our partner wins more arguments than we do or has pleased us more often than disappointed us. Anyone can tell you, at any given moment, whether his or her partner's score is over the moon, subterranean, or just high enough to get by. If each partner does his or her best to do those things that will garner points by doing things and handling everyday interactions in a way that resonates with the others view of how things should be, emotional intimacy is enhanced.
3. Differences are just that, not matters of right and wrong. We often hear that being married is hard work. It's not. What's hard work is being "right" and "remodeling" our partner to our version of perfection. Sure, sometimes you have to resolve differences but arguing about them as if one of you is right and one of you is wrong is futile. When you have your feelings hurt or are disappointed, do your best to give your sweetheart the benefit of the doubt. Chances are that your hurt or disappointment is nothing more than a clash in how you and your partner see the world. Don't let those feelings turn into emotional-intimacy-destroying grudges. When you can't reason the feeling away, then share your feelings in a non-judgmental and constructive way so that your partner has the chance to clarify the situation.
Most importantly, remember that it is the little things that really make or break a relationship. Most failed relationships do not suffer one fatal body blow. Most failed relationships suffer death by a thousand cuts. For a happier, long-lasting relationship, treat every moment as one that either makes or breaks your relationship. And treat emotional intimacy as the crown jewel of your togetherness.
Shela Dean is a relationship coach, speaker and author of Frequent Foreplay Miles, Your Ticket to Total Intimacy, available at Amazon.com and other booksellers. For more information, please visit http://www.FrequentForeplayMiles.com. - Blog post
- 4 weeks ago
- Views: 54
- Not yet rated
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ladylove
- Views: 39
- Since: 2 months ago
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Bonnie04
- Views: 28
- Since: 2 months ago
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goran32bour
- Views: 21
- Since: 2 months ago
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To be a Goober-Face Is Human To be a Goober-Face Is Human
- From: dhub
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Description:A few weeks ago we had a visit from my wife's parents and from her brother's family. I consider them my family as well, but I wanted to accurately paint the picture of those who came to visit us. They drove over 16 hours far from the comforts of their homes in the cool Rocky Mountains to pile into our small rented house in the hot and humid countryside of Oklahoma. I look back with fond memories on this special visit they made for many reasons including the special time my wife and I got to spend with four of our nieces who we love so much. They are topnotch children with topnotch parents. Kudos to Dan, Jen, Bill, Pat, and the girls for taking your large family across the country for a visit. It meant the world to us.
I write about this "visit from the in-laws" in the wake of hearing others complain about their extended family. Some are too "nosy" or "meddling" in the couples' marriages, while others are too "hands-off" and "laissez faire" while they "ignore" the couple and their children. I mention this not to condemn. I want to raise awareness of an issue in human relationships.I assume that most, if not all married couples have human in-laws. I emphasize the word "Human" here.I'm reminded of a quote from the English poet Alexander Pope. He said, "To err is human; to forgive, divine."So here comes the irony!Why, if humans make mistakes, do we find ourselves dehumanizing them for those very mistakes that make them human? In other words, why do we seem to ignore the fact that these people experience sadness, pain, happiness, love, and guilt while emphasizing the fact that they just came across to us as great big meanie goober-faces? I use the word "WE" because I am a guilty of this too.From time to time I find myself seeing "offending" family members as goober-faces who like to offend me no matter what. However, when I take the time to think things through, this "goober-face" theory never holds true. When I think things through I discover that this offending person actually meant no offense, was tired, or maybe had a bad day at work. Quite often I discover this when it's too late. I've already called them a goober-face, so now I have fix the problems that come with calling someone such a terrible thing.According to Morrie Schwartz we need to forgive ourselves as well as others before we die (see the book, Tuesdays With Morrie by Mitch Albom).Applying this simple principle, I would suggest that those of us who get angry and dehumanize friends or family members (or even strangers) begin by recognizing that we made a mistake, forgiving ourselves for that mistake, and then, of course, forgiving those labeled as goober-faces in the first place.Remember... that they are only human. Remember... that you are only human.Now is the time to raise our divinity with a little forgiveness... right?Now if you are having boundary issues, I would suggest reading this fabulous post by Dr. Neill Neill as well as typing the word "boundaries" into the search box at the top of the twoofus.org web page.In the mean time, let us not forget to love and forgive our friends and family for whom we all truly are: Humans who sometimes act like goober-faces. - Blog post
- 2 months ago
- Views: 157
- Not yet rated
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gilmore6
- Views: 29
- Since: 2 months ago
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Pants on Fire Pants on Fire
- From: IveBeenFakingIt
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Description:
My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. He asked me to marry him about 3 months after we met. At that time everything was great and I was more than happy to accept. Since then, things have been slowly going downhill and we're growing apart. I'm not really sure how to approach him anymore. My children (ages 9 and 12) adore him and think he's the greatest guy on the planet. This only makes the situation tougher.
Our major issues:
Health. When we met, we bonded over our desire to get healthy, experience new things, and become active. Although he is severely obese, I believed him when he told me he was mid-way through his journey to fit and wanted to continue. It turns out that wasn't the case at all. He loves talking about getting healthy, but putting it into action seems to escape him still. I hate to let this become an issue, but if we're being honest it is a HUGE issue for me. I am looking for someone to grow old with and that's not going to be very possible with him considering he is 5'8" and pushing 400 lbs. Also, his weight limits our sex life a LOT.
Honesty. He feels the need to "BS" people all the time, including me. He will tell me whatever sounds right at that moment and I honesty believe he doesn't even realize he's doing it anymore. I try to explain to him that when he lies to other people it worries me.. and when he lies to me it destroys my trust. I just caught him last night lying to get my son in trouble. I was shocked. I don't understand how he can allow insecurity to rule him like it does, but still be willing to do so little to gain confidence. I would be confortable saying he lies to me atleast once every single day. I just don't see a need for it.
Sex. It's non-existent. It's not that I don't have a sex drive. My sex drive is through the roof, actually. He just becomes less and less attractive to me the more he lies, the less he helps me around the house, the more he lectures and yells at the kids, the more he farts and burps, and the less motivated he becomes to take charge of his life.
Family. His family drives me insane. They lie, cheat, steal, and are all around not fun people. They are not emotionally healthy for my children. His sister STOLE over $50k from his sick grandmother. How can he really expect me to trust these people?
He says all I do is complain and he feels bitched at constantly. This is probably true. I have gotten to the point where I complain a lot. I guess when a guy tells you to just tell him when something bothers you, there should be a "within reason" implemented each time. I worry that we're finding out we're just not as compatible as we thought. I would like to stay with him, but I'm not sure if I am what he's looking for and vice versa. I cut him so much slack because this is his first major relationship ever and he did jump in with a woman with 2 kids... but part of me feels like it has gotten to the point where I'm giving up so much of me to be with him.
Last night I caught him lying to try and get my son in trouble. It really upset me and I'm left debating if I even want to be in this relationship anymore.
Sigh.
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 76
- Not yet rated
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canemike001
- Views: 47
- Since: 3 months ago
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What would you do? What would you do?
- From: cynmart5
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Description:
What would you do? How would you talk about it? My fiance of 8 years has opened a profile page on a gay website. he has yet to finish it. We have two kids together. On the profile he says he is casually dating, undesided about children and in the closet.
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 51
- Not yet rated
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Lying Husband Lying Husband
- From: depressed
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Description:
Hello Everyone. I desperately need some advice. I was married to a wonderful man 8 months ago. W ehad been together 9 years prior to getting married. He had always been reluctant about marriage whereas i was always the one pushing it. In the end I basically gave him an ultimatum and he finally asked me to marry him. We have had an amazing decade together. We have always spent most of our time together when we are not working etc...our families are wonderful and we see them once a week since everyone lives close.Our wedding day was amazing and so happy. For me it was finally my dream come true. Then everything came crashing down OUT OF NOWHERE. I COULD NEVER EXPECT WHAT has happened since our wedding day and noone who knows us would ever believe it. On our honeymoon, I caught him texting someone though he could never show me the phone and denied it being anything. I knew then that something was up so i started watching him closely when we returned from our honeymoon and I noticed on th ephone bill i was able to eventually access, that he was calling this woman every day and texting her all day long. I came to find out that he had been talking to this other woman for the entre length of our engagement. He did not stop once we were married and continued to do so even after i found the phone bills. When i confronted him about it he promised me that he would stop talking to her and that it was nothing. I let it go and didnt make much of a stink about it, fast forward two months later i find a cellphone in his trunk that i was not aware he had with texts to this other woman saying things like i love you so much it hurts. I cant wait to continue....I confront him about this and he tells me that hes sorry, that he doesnt want to be with her but that we have communication problems and he doesnt feel like he can talk to me because every time he tries to, i turn it around and tell him hes wrong and im not understanding and i dont accept his viewpoint. Understood.... I Move on hurt and questioning every day whether he is being honest with me. at this point my trust is shattered beyond belief and i find that while i want to trust him, my insecutiries show and i am really on top of him almost every day. 8 months later my meltdowns are down to once a week.
During these 8 months I find clues to tell me that he may still talking be talking to her. So i tell myself ill only do this once but i have to know. i put a recording device in his car, and i get a conversation of him and her talking while hes driving home one night.. In the tape he says " its easy for me, we dont have a hosue we dont have children we dont have money, i can just abandon her" I confronted him with this and he went to leave but we were both so upset and we started talking about how this could happen to us. we are picture perfect to everyone. I thought we were happy....he wasnt/ He told me that for the last eight months, he tried to stop talking to this woman, but when i melted down every week it made him go back to her. He has never once admitted to an affair, saying that they are just friends and she is someone he can talk to. He told me that he feels like an empty shell of a person because I have made him stop wanting to have any friends, etc. He does not have any friends, all his friends are family, so he is always home with me and like I said before, we spend most of our time together. He comes home after work, has never been home late while this has been going on. I think that this was more of an emotional affair and I do not believe it was a sexual one, thought with all the lies lately, not sure what i can believe. I am a really sweet loving person and i believe that he is manipulating me and maybe not as good of a person as i thought. I do know him and he really is a good person. I dont know how he got messed up in all of this. He tells me now that he wants to work it out. That i just need to be more loving and stop being on top of him so much as I have in the last 8 months. It was very hard for me to deal with when I ffirst found out that my husband, and the man that i love more than anything in this world, would do this to me during what was to be the best time of our life. So every day was extremely painful for me for those 8 months and i would preach to him daily about what he needed to do. He found this to be depleting...which I can understand so i feel like I may have contributed to him going back to this other woman because she was someone he could talk to. I asked him so many times, are you still talking to her? do u want to? He would always reply no, that this isnt what we needed, what we needed was love.....sigh...After all this he tells me he does not want her. By the way she is married with two kids. He says he wants me. he wants us to be happy but that we have to try something different. i cant come at him anymore and keep him under this microscope and keep questioning him. He wants me to feel secure and be loving and understanding, be cool and he says this will make everything better. If i can do that that he can stop talking to the other woman. I would say things like...are u still talking to this other woman. If you are, you mind as well stab me in the heart instead of my back? which he basically says insinuated that he was a monster that couldnt be trusted and it didnt make him want to be trustworthy. He wants me to be cool and say..i know somethings up, u have to fix this ! and leave it at that. trust that he will take of it and let him be a man. We left off that we both knew what we needed to do inorder to make this marriage survive this..... and that we were going to try. He is depressed and i need to get him happy again. I have to put aside myself because he seems really lost right now and i just want to help him back to me. I certainly have not been perfect over th elast couple of years, with my ultimatums and my microscope. I know he loves me otherwise he wouldnt have married me...And he wouldnt still be here trying to make it work. I love him despite all this and i just want us to be happy. I wan to reinvent us and bring back the love. I know its gonna be hard but i have to try and i think if he sees that i am willing to work so hard for the both of us that he may start feeling hopeful and actually give me what i want which is him. Please let me know if you think I am doing the right thing. I really appreciate you taking the time and I hope that if you are going through anything like this that you will be able to be happy again real soon and get whatever it is you want as i so desperately do....
- Blog post
- 3 months ago
- Views: 129
- Not yet rated
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cathy
- Views: 76
- Since: 3 months ago